we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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