It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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