Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
