I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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