Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
