biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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