So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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