sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
