I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
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I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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