well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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