you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
operation have a gay friend backfired
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
