I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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