is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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