you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We're too hungover to prance.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
