I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Alive.
So much puke
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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