If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We're using joints as your birthday candles
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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