The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
