So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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