Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
