I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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