ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
