PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
