We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
