We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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