I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
