I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he shaved USA in his pubs
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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