corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
