Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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