She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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