once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
