We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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