Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
