I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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