So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So many bounce houses so little time
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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