there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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