Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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