No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
