At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
