Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I AM VODKA MAN
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
my liver is dry heaving
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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