so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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