Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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