Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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