Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
