1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
