Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
