no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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