She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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