so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
