and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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