i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
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EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
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I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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