Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Fuck appropriateness.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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