and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
