i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
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If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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