yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
