I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
