We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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