if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
