literally had 100 drinks last night.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i think im in europe. pls send help
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
