Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
